Thursday, August 2, 2012


When I think about why I am proud of my boys, the reasons have everything to do with the choices they have made. The way they interact with people, what they value, what makes them happy. Where they live, the friends they have, the education and jobs they choose to pursue.

How each of them spend their time is based upon their own unique set of interests, needs and goals. I have never thought my boys should be like either one of their parents, nor have I wanted them to be. I've only wanted them to experience the richness and fulfillment of a life lived as it was genuinely meant to be lived. 

As their parents, we raised them in the best possible way we knew how; gave them the best life we possibly could. We asked that they be considerate, caring and compassionate people. We prioritized education and encouraged life long learning. We wanted them to be able to define what makes them happy, what their strengths and talents were and how to make a choice. It was never our intention that they express themselves in the same way we do or that they follow in our footsteps, but we did think it important to model a rough outline of what works......or doesn't work. We didn't set goals for them, but instead tried to teach them how to set their own. 

Throughout the years there have been conversations illustrated with examples of what Marc and I learned from our own experiences. I would love to know exactly how many times I was told, "You don't need to try and teach me a life lesson right now.....", especially as they got older and caught on to why we decided to share a particular story at a particular moment.

At a certain point we learned to let go........although there is a real possibility that if you ask any one of the three of them, they might not agree. I know that often I made conscious decisions not to interfere, give advice or verbalize what I was thinking (so difficult!), but more than likely, the letting go happened slowly......incrementally......and so subtly that it wasn't even evident to ourselves.

Within the past few months, two of our boys made the decision to quit a job and make a move. One traded living and working in a small music and art filled city with a distinct outdoor vibe, for life in a much larger music and art filled city with a distinct outdoor vibe. He now lives just a quick 30 minute drive from our home. The other took a somewhat nomadic journey around the United States and ended up settling for the summer on the sunny California coast. It must have been the right place to plan the next step......because in a few weeks he'll end up living in a vibrant urban environment on the opposite coast in order to pursue a dream he's harboured for quite some time.

I'm proud of each of them for the decisions they make and for their ability to make them. For taking advantage of the sense of adventure that is likely hard-wired into their DNA. They make me brave. I just hope it has worked the other way around.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead!

Warmly, Margaret

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